Sunsets
by Kerrison
Summary: Oneshot. Post "Legend" - TIVA. Ziva watches the sunset and has a brief chat with Tony about the current events


Her gaze was cast out across the DC landscape; as beautiful as the city lights were, she missed the sunsets in Israel.

The sky lit up with bright orange flare in Israel. Here, there was a smoggy haze.

That orange sky line had been her comfort many a nights as she hiked and camped in the Judean Mountains with Ari and Tali when they were younger.

The color had bounced off the waters of the Dead Sea when she had swam and played the waters during many a brief vacation in her less intense years with Mossad.

And the orange and yellows of the skyline were clear in her mind as they reflected against the Temple Mount's dome, making a holy spot ever more so beautiful.

She had been home this summer and enjoyed the sunsets, yet still felt as if something was missing.

As she stood each night at her bedroom window and watched the sunset, she felt the empty space to her right and knew a part of her was missing.

When she returned to Israel on vacation, for a mission briefing and her father's birthday party, she had gone for a run through the mountains several nights and paused to watch the sun set, its golden glow blanketing the woods. And she felt alone.

Something she found joy and peace in during her younger years now gave her a feeling of emptiness, of half-completion.

And when she had left Israel that week, her new mission more firmly in place, she realized there was the good possibility that her life would never be complete.

He would hate her. She would hate him.

The lies would over-take their friendship. The relationship that she _knew _they both longed for on some level, would merely never happen, instead they'd be shoved apart by their sense of duty, loyalty and a distrust bred out of mission-based-betrayal.

She sighed as she felt a tear slowly roll down her cheek, leaving a wet trail in its wake.

Ziva blinked and quickly wiped away her tear.

She looked out at the DC landscape again, the pink smoggy haze having slowly turned into a dusky gray that would lead to night settling over the city.

While it wasn't as beautiful as the sunsets in Israel, it was still beautiful for its own reasons.

Right now she didn't have that feeling of emptiness that the sunsets at home brought. She felt complete.

And she realized why when the she felt his presence beside her.

"It'd be beautiful without the smog, huh?"

She smirked at glanced at Tony out of the corner of her eye. "It is beautiful in its own way. Even with the smog."

Tony nodded. "I imagine yours back home are more beautiful."

"In some ways, yes," she said before softly adding "Perhaps one day I can show you."

"That'd be nice," was his simple reply.

She cleared her throat and squared her shoulders, and, not caring much about his seeing the tear stains on her cheeks, turned towards him. "Tony I..."

Her voice trailed off as she took in his inquisitive gaze. His eyes begged for an explanation. His eyes begged for something to put things right.

She sighed. "Tony, I do not know what to say to you. You ask me questions I cannot answer. You want answers I cannot give. I have _never _ wanted to lie to you."

"Wanted to?" He asked, his voice barely a whisper.

Ziva looked down at her feet, a trait very uncharacteristic. "There are many things I do for Mossad that I do not want to do. But duty offers little room for discussion, as you know," she said, politely referencing his undercover op with Jeanne.

He shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from fidgeting and never once made an attempt to meet her gaze. "I wish I had told you about her," he offered softly. "I think it would have made less-real if you knew."

She smirked. "You still would have fallen in love."

"I don't know. If I told you, -"

"You still would have fallen in love," she simply repeated. "You have a blessing and a curse, Tony. You love fully – and that is a gift. But it is difficult because it allows you to be hurt more deeply."

He tilted his head to the side to acknowledge the validity of her statement. "And you?"

"I am careful," she said, her voice cracking as she spoke. "I do not give my heart freely. But when I do, it is forever."

She placed her hand on his arm and squeezed gently before adding, "And I do **not **give my heart based on Mossad orders."

She shifted, regarding the dusky night skyline once more before she finally turned away.


End file.
